What Do You Say When You Have No Words?

I feel numb...damaged...broken...and alone...I thought God had a plan, but as it turns out maybe I should have less faith in God and just focus on reality...At this moment I really wish that I didn't believe in him...but once you believe in someone or something as much as this I don't think anything would be able to stop you from believing. How could it? But I guess I'm disappointed, let down, hurt, or whatever you want to call it...I just wish there would be a sign that God even actually cared because I don't think he does...As horrible as it is...I am really mad at him right now and I don't know how I am supposed to express it....